“Lush Sensation provides independent reviews of adult toy brands. We may earn a small commission if you purchase through our links, but we do not sell products directly.”.
Last Updated on July 23, 2025 by Kelly
Let’s talk about something a lot of people wonder: Is it weird to want to use a big dildo with your partner?
Honestly? Not at all — and you’re not alone if you’ve been curious or even a little insecure about it.
This article dives into why that curiosity is natural, especially for men who may feel unsure about their partner’s interest in size.
We’ll unpack the psychology behind it, break down the myths around stretching or satisfaction, and walk you through how to use a large dildo in a way that’s fun, respectful, and safe for both of you.
Whether you’re looking to spice things up or just understand your partner better — you’re in the right place.
Let’s get into it.
Contents
Is it Normal to Want to Use a Large Dildo on Your Partner?
The answer is yes! If you have a penis, don’t feel bad if you like using large dildos on your partner. Trust me; my boyfriend felt weird at first, too.
Men are often told that a woman who likes it big can’t like any other size.
Usually, it’s either from porn setting unrealistic expectations, or from their friends who exaggerate about their sex life.
Or maybe they were shamed in the past by a toxic lover. It’s hard for me to explain why guys act this way, but I believe it’s generally due to the above.
Just know that there is no shame in trying something bigger with your partner.
But I get it; some are still insecure. That’s why I wanted to make this post, to tell you why it’s completely normal to use a large dildo on your partner.
I’ll look at why women (and men, and those in-between) like large dildos, how to use them safely, and more.
Why Does She Want a Big Dildo?
First things first, why is your girl wanting a big dildo? Is she not satisfied with what you got?
Unless she’s making orgasms that sound faker than the acting in The Room, I wouldn’t overthink it.
Most women want to try something new because it’s new. Sex can be amazing, but sometimes, you want to mix it up.
You may have thought about what it would be like to feel the inside of an anus, or looked at those porn star fleshlights and wondered how that would feel.
Plus, testing your limits is fun. How much can you really take?
Benefits of Using a Large Dildo With Your Partner
Several benefits can come when you use a large dildo with your partner, including:
- Spicing up your sex life. It can feel fun to try new things and test your limits!
- Building communication during sex. It’s important to pull back if it starts hurting your partner, and your partner needs to communicate if they’re in pain.
- The satisfaction of seeing your partner feel fulfilled. It can turn you on quite a bit! Don’t worry; there’s room for you as well!
Debunking Myths About Stretching
Several myths have sprung up about large dildos and how they can stretch your vagina.
Let’s smash some of them right now.
Myth: The Vagina Will Be Permanently Loosened
This myth is rooted in men not understanding how the vagina works, and sadly, in misogyny.
Some men think that the more promiscuous a woman is, the looser her vagina will get, and that a large penis can loosen them permanently.
This myth can be debunked through one word: childbirth. The large dildo you buy won’t be as big as a newborn baby.
The vagina is meant to stretch to push a baby out, and eventually returns to its normal size. So a large dildo is nothing for it!
This article from Teen Vogue discusses some common vagina myths.
Myth: It’s Going to Be Painful
Not true, either. How much your vagina can initially take can depend on experience and genetics.
However, if you have enough lube and preparation, it can feel pleasurable.
I always say that if you don’t know your limits, start small!
Myth: Once She Likes it Big, She Won’t Want You
False as well! Women may only be in the mood for something big on rare occasions, and even if they like large dildos, they’ll like smaller ones as well.
Trust me, she’s not going to break up with you for Mr. Rabbit.
How to Use a Large Dildo
With those myths smashed, let’s look at some ways to use a large dildo.
Preparing for the Experience
First, you two need to be in the mood. Dim the lights, play some sexy music, throw rose petals on the bed, and get a little extra.
Maybe watch a movie beforehand, or get mad at each other in Mario Kart. I don’t judge. Once you feel the mood settle, whip it out!
But don’t use a large dildo right away. You need to prep her first.
Also, before you do any of this, be sure that you two have established communication.
You may use a safe word or tell your partner directly if the dildo feels too big or uncomfortable.
Also, read this article that shows how to use a dildo properly.
Selecting Appropriate Lubricant
Water-based lubes will be your friend here. They work well with any dildo. That being said, if you’re sick of reapplying lube, silicone lubes work well.
However, silicone lubes can damage silicone toys. Use them on a big glass or metal dildo instead.
Hybrid lubes give the best of both worlds. They last longer than water, but don’t damage silicone toys.
You may also try lubricants like coconut oil, which can work well enough.
Generally, water is a great place to start, as it’s a crowd pleaser. Then, you can buy other types of lube and experiment from there.
Starting with Smaller Sizes
If you got a bigger dildo, don’t go with that first. Foreplay and the lead-up to the big one are not something you should speedrun!
You need to use smaller things first to stretch her out and get her comfortable.
You may use your fingers, a smaller dildo, or try the tip of the large dildo at first. Once she feels relaxed and is taking the smaller objects in, ask if she wants something bigger.
If she likes the bigger dildo, then try something even bigger. And bigger.
When she’s ready, whip out the big one!
Introducing the Large Dildo
Now, it’s time to whip it out! I don’t know what size you got.
Maybe you bought the most enormous dildo of the bunch, or perhaps you spent a good penny on those “Novelty” dildos.
Either way, show it to her, and see if that’s what she wants, assuming that she doesn’t know.
Taking it Slow
You’re eager, she’s eager, but isn’t there somebody you forgot to ask? That’s right: biology! She can still get anxious in the middle, causing pain or discomfort.
Plus, even if the large dildo is the next logical step, she may not be ready yet. Insert the tip, and see how she reacts.
Then, insert a little more. Do it slowly until she tells you to speed up.
Allowing Partner to Guide
It can be delightful to watch your partner take an enormous dildo, but they call the shots. She needs to be as comfortable as she can, and communicate that at all times.
If she wants more, give her more. If she wants a breather, give her one and maybe make some hot cocoa.
If she’s in pain, take it out and give her plenty of aftercare. Never should you do something against your partner’s wishes!
Trying Various Sizes and Shapes and Finding What Feels Best
Too big? Or maybe it wasn’t big enough? The best way to know what your partner likes is through experimentation.
A good starter point is those dildo variety packs.
These usually include a dildo or butt plug in small, medium, and large sizes.
These packs make it easy to see what your partner likes, then go bigger or smaller depending on feedback.
Can Using a Large Dildo Lead to Injury?
Sex toy injuries don’t happen often, but they can if you’re not careful. In the case of large dildos, injuries can occur if you do too much, too fast, and don’t have enough lube!
Be sure to use lots of lube; water-based lubes are great for silicone toys. And don’t start big if you don’t know your partner’s limits!
Be sure that you start small, then work your way up. If your partner says they feel pain, take it out immediately!
