Last Updated on February 13, 2024 by Kelly
The clitoris is a very special organ and deserves attention and understanding to please it correctly. The focus is worth it.
The clitoris is often misunderstood and misused, but that needs to end! You can ensure incredible orgasms for yourself and your partner by paying attention to this important organ.
Whether you need help locating it or want better methods for stimulating yourself, this guide on stimulating the clitoris will answer your questions.
Learn (almost) everything you need to know about how to stimulate the clitoris in this handy guide.
Contents
Wrong Ways To Stimulate The Clitoris
Unfortunately, as amazing as the clitoris can feel and how easy it is to stimulate, there are many wrong ways to approach the clit.
Bad stimulation can either come from too much or not enough pressure and attention to the clit.
Missing the clit entirely, for example, and rubbing the lips of the labia or the entrance to the vagina, would be a clear example of bad clit stimulation, as it’s not being stimulated at all!
Sadly, some people have missed their anatomy lesson and do not even know where to find the clit.
You can usually find the clit towards the top of the vulva right at or a few inches below the opening of the lips at the top.
The visible part of the clit looks like a small, round knob, like a pea or a bead. We will go into more detail about the visible and invisible parts of the clitoris below.
Once you find the clitoris, you should be able to play with it using a variety of methods to stimulate it.
But don’t move too quickly. Sometimes bad stimulation can come from overwhelming the clitoris with uncomfortable or intense movements.
You know how your foot falls asleep if it’s in the same position for too long? The clitoris can start to go numb if it encounters the same repetitive motion at the same intensity for too long.
To avoid the wrong ways of clit stimulation, be careful about when and how you stimulate the clitoris.
You usually don’t want to head straight to the clit, even if you are eager to get off as soon as possible. Instead, stimulate the areas surrounding the clit, like the inner thigh and the labia.
Once you finally get to the clit, the other stimulation will have it so excited for the slightest touch.
Once working with the clit, change up the motions and try out different techniques if one isn’t working. If you’re using your fingers, you can go side to side, around in circles, up and down.
If you are using a toy, try pressing different parts of the toy against the clit for different sensations or changing the vibration settings to vary in intensity.
Finally, it can be important to lubricate and pay attention to the natural fluids from the vagina.
Rubbing a clitoris in a completely dry environment can create friction resulting in a raw feeling.
A little friction is good, but too much can be painful! You always want to take your time with approaching the clitoris.
Start gently, increase intensity as you go, and listen to your or your partner’s reactions. You will start to pick up on the signs that mean “keep going.”
This could be auditory cues like moans and sighs or physical cues like the leg twitching or the vulva getting softer and wetter.
Right Ways to Stimulate the Clitoris
Now that you know what not to do with the clitoris, it’s time to consider all the best ways to stimulate the clitoris.
Below are several popular and proven ways to pleasure the clitoris.
These range from the classic, like masturbating with fingers, to the futuristic, like sex toys that simulate oral sex!
Stimulating with Fingers
Using the fingers to get the clit aroused is probably the method most people start with on their own.
However, you do not have to be going solo to enjoy the pleasures of fingering.
Stimulating with the hands and fingers is a great activity for partner play and can be incorporated into intercourse to double the fun.
When using the fingers to play with the clit, less is more. You usually only need 1 or 2 fingers and only the very tips of them.
Some people have luck with the V-shape method, using the index and middle finger and running the clitoris between the two.
You can also use just the index finger to rub against the clit in a circular formation or try out different motions like up and down and side to side.
Another method is gently tapping the clitoris using the fingertips as if you’re repeatedly typing the same letter into the keyboard.
Stimulating with the Mouth
To activate a more complex range of sensations, you can stimulate the clit with the mouth – specifically, the tongue.
Cunnilingus, or oral sex, is a fantastic form of pleasure that will have the clitoris swelling in delight.
This activity is pretty much only possible with partner play unless you are flexible or are using a toy that feels like oral sex, which we will discuss t later.
You can do many things with the clitoris when performing oral sex, but the best way to start is to use the tongue as if it were a finger tip.
You can use the tip of the tongue to rub the clit in different directions. You can soften and flatten the tongue to lick against the clit and surrounding area.
The rest of the mouth can get it involved, too.
Use the lips and tongue to create a sucking motion around the clit, just be sure not to squeeze too hard or use your teeth.
Stimulating with Vibrators
You can use vibrators on the clit for a range of sensations and deeply powerful orgasms.
Fortunately, you can use many types of vibrators with the clit, some specifically made for it.
For example, you can find panty vibrators that rest inside the panties to provide external stimulation to the clit.
These vibrators are amazingly simple; you rest them against the outside of the vulva, and the vibrations will take care of the rest.
A clit stimulator like the Lovense Ferri or We-Vibe Moxie is great for solo play or public play.
You can also use dual-stimulation vibrators that will stimulate the clit and the g-spot at the same time.
The We-Vibe Chorus presses against the clit and the g-spot at the same time and can be worn during intercourse.
The Lovense Dolce is one of my favorite dual-action vibrators for this amazing combo of sensations. It has powerful vibration motors at both ends. See my review of the dolce here
Another great type of vibrator for clit stimulation is the bullet vibrator.
This small, handheld vibrator is great for stimulating the clit during intercourse as it doesn’t get in the way.
The We-Vibe Tango X and the Lovense Ambi are fantastic, low-key bullet vibrators that pack a powerful punch with a small amount of material.
Stimulating with Clit Suction Toys
Most people think of vibrators and dildos when they think of sex toys, but those are not the only types of sensations available with sex toys.
There is a whole genre of sex toys dedicated to the clitoris. These toys are known as clit suction toys or clit stimulators.
Clit sucking vibrators do not function the same way as normal vibrators. Instead, they usually have a variety of motions and sensations that send focused energy to the clit.
Some clit suction toys, like the We-Vibe Melt, will send short pulses of energy to clit to simulate the feeling of the clit being blown on or licked during oral sex.
This air suction technology, unlike a typical vibrator, can create mind-blowing orgasms. One famous example of this is the Womanizer seen below.
Other clit suction toys will actually have a tongue or licking feature that will feel like you have someone’s mouth pressed against your clit.
Clit suction toys are great for masturbation but can also be incorporated into intercourse.
You can use the clit suction vibrator to stimulate the clitoris while being penetrated.
Or you and your partner can play with the clit suction toy as a foreplay device before getting to the rest of it.
Also Read:
How To Use a Clit Sucking Vibrator
Stimulating with Other Sex Toys
Many toys can stimulate that special part of the body, even if they do not have “clit” in the name.
One popular type of toy for clit stimulation is a hump toy, a toy that is specifically designed to be humped so that you rub the clit against it.
Hump toys can be like plushy pillows or more solid materials that can be molded to the shape of your choosing.
You can get creative with how you use toys like a standard dildo. Instead of going straight to penetration, lubricate the toy’s tip and rub it against the clit instead of using your fingers.
This may come as a surprise, given the name, but amazing clit stimulation can occur with cock rings.
Depending on your position, if your partner wears a vibrating cock ring during intercourse, the toy can press against the vulva and send vibrations right to the clit.
There are also plenty of vibrators that are not specifically designed for the clit but will feel amazing when used for clit stimulation.
Wand toy vibrators are known for their extremely powerful vibrations that can radiate to a large portion of the body. When pressed against the clitoris, the wand toy will be deeply satisfying.
What Are The Best Sex Positions to Stimulate The Clitoris?
The clitoris should not only be focused on during solo play or foreplay. It can – and should – be stimulated during all parts of intercourse to maximize pleasure.
There are a few sex positions that are ideal for incorporating clit stimulation during intercourse.
These positions are great because you or your partner can access the clit with hands or a toy while in the act.
Spooning
The Spooning sex position is exactly how it sounds. You and your partner will lie parallel to each other, with the woman in front penetrated from behind.
Spooning usually leaves the receiver’s hands free to reach down and stimulate the clit with their own hands.
Your partner can also reach around to take part, but they might be using their hands to hold you in place or to guide their own movements.
Another option while spooning is to hold a small bullet vibrator between your legs. The Lovense Ambi, for example, is also designed to stay in place for a hands-free experience.
Spooning is a very intimate sex position, but not being face to face can take away some of the pressure.
Missionary
Missionary is a common and traditional sex position, but you can spice it up with clit play.
Missionary position is when your partner lies on top of you so that you are face to face and penetrates from above.
While the clit is not always easy to reach in Missionary because of the closeness of the bodies, there are ways to stimulate the clit that feel amazing in this position.
My favorite method of clit stimulation in Missionary is by using a toy like the We-Vibe Sync. This toy actually rests inside the vagina and reaches up towards the clit during sex.
The Sync stays firmly in place and stimulates the g-spot and the clit with lovely vibrations.
You can also use a small vibrator like the We-Vibe Tango bullet vibrator and hold it against the clit while in Missionary.
The angling might be a bit difficult at first, but you will get the hang of it.
Reverse Cowgirl
In Reverse Cowgirl, the woman gets to take charge by being on top, but in “reverse,” she is facing away from her partner so that he has a view of her back.
Reverse Cowgirl leaves the clit accessible for any stimulation, whether with hands or with a toy.
You can easily stimulate your clit while in Reverse Cowgirl, as you should have at least one hand free in the position.
It might be harder for your partner to reach the clit for you in Reverse Cowgirl, but it is sometimes possible, especially if they have a toy.
Doggy Style
Doggy Style is one of the most popular sex positions because it is easy to sustain and feels amazing for both partners.
In Doggy Style, the woman will be either on her hands and knees or bent over 90 degrees, such as leaning against a table.
The partner will then enter her from behind, either standing or kneeling.
For clit stimulation, Doggy Style works great if your partner wants to stimulate your clit while entering you. They should be able to reach around from behind comfortably.
You can also hold a toy against the clit while in Doggy Style, but your other arm might get tired if you are holding yourself up at the same time.
While not exactly clit-related, the other great thing about Doggy Style is that it allows for deep penetration.
Combining the deep, cervix-hitting penetration with clitoral stimulation can lead to some of the most incredible orgasms you might experience.
Snake or the “Lazy Dog”
This position is a lot like Doggy Style, except the woman is not on her hands and knees but is lying prone against the bed or floor. Hence the nickname, Lazy Dog.
From here, she can be penetrated from above by her partner lying parallel on top of her.
Compared to Doggy, lying in the Snake position is a great way to free up your hands to reach down and stimulate the clit yourself.
Your partner should also be close enough to reach under you and stimulate the clit with their hands.
It just might get uncomfortable for them as their hand might be bent at too much of an angle or it might fall asleep from being underneath all that body weight.
The added pressure and friction from lying against a surface also helps add stimulation to the clit.
Another method in this position is to arrange yourself to lie on top of a vibrator. This way, you may not even need your hands if the toy is positioned correctly.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Big Is the Clitoris?
The entire organ of the clitoris is much bigger than most people realize, as what you see is only a small part of the entire clitoris.
It is common for people to think of the clitoris as the clitoral hood and glans. This is the visible part of the clit on the vulva that looks like a small bead or button.
The clitoris is not just this small nub, though. The clit actually reaches deep internally, meaning it can be stimulated in many ways, not just by directly touching the hood.
That means that internal penetration can technically be reaching “the clitoris,” although when we casually talk about the clitoris, we mean the part that is visible and external.
The entire clitoris is about a few inches long and a few inches wide, but everyone is different. Some people have very large visible clitorises, and some people have smaller ones.
How Many Nerve Endings Does the Clitoris Have?
The clitoris is a highly sensitive part of the body. The most common number is that the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings.
Other body parts have just a few nerve endings, especially on such a relatively small part of the body. For instance, fingertips have one nerve ending.
The clitoris packs a lot of sensitivity into a small area, which is why you must treat it so carefully.
The clitoris can be easily overwhelmed. Many women have issues with their clitoris going numb or losing the momentum of their pleasure if they stimulate it too quickly and intensely.
That is also why so many people prefer clitoral orgasms or sometimes only can orgasm by stimulating the clitoris. It is a hot part of the body!
The G-Spot vs. The Clitoris: Are They the Same?
The G-spot is a nickname for a part of the body that is actually all part of the same clitoral organ.
However, g-spot and clit mean different things when used to describe what part of the body is being stimulated and pleasured.
The g-spot is the soft, fleshy patch on the roof of the vaginal canal, just a few inches from the opening and spanning just another few inches.
The g-spot is what gets stimulated when engaging in penetration, whether that is with a toy or with another person.
However, the g-spot is not always stimulated during penetration and can be hard for some to find.
G-spot stimulators like the We-Vibe Chorus and the Lovense Lush are designed to press against the g-spot inside the vagina.
When comparing the clitoris to the g-spot, this references the part of the clitoris that is visible and located on the external part of the vulva.
Clitoral stimulation toys will focus on that small, fleshy knob on the outer part of the vulva.
Some toys are both g-spot and clit stimulators, and it is not like you have to focus on just one or the other during sex or masturbation. They work best when stimulated together!
But some people prefer just g-spot stimulation or just clitoral stimulation, and that is a personal preference you will need to work out for yourself.
You can’t go wrong; it depends on what works for you.