Last Updated on April 10, 2024 by Kelly
It’s not just for those lonely nights that vibrators come in handy. Vibrators can be a wonderful addition to sex with a partner.
Adding fun new toys to your sex life will help you spice things up. Many couples use sex toys to keep things exciting and to try out different sensations.
Depending on your interest, there is a wide range of vibrators, from discreet and small to large and powerful.
They can stimulate different parts of the body, and many of them are gender-neutral.
Vibrators also can be used for different types of sexual pleasure: oral sex, mutual masturbation, foreplay, and more.
If you’re feeling curious, read on to see how to use a vibrator during sex.
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How To Use A Vibrator During Couple Sex
How to use a vibrator during sex depends on you and your partner’s needs. The good thing is there are so many sex toys you can buy that cater to different interests.
Below are a few ways to incorporate different vibrators into the bedroom with your partner.
How to Use a Bullet Vibrator During Sex
Bullet vibrators are small, cylindrical vibrators that are usually no taller than the palm of your hand and no thicker than a few inches around.
Bullet vibrators tend to have a more light, tickly vibration than larger, high-powered toys. They are good for adding small doses of extra vibration if you need that extra kick.
Bullet vibrators are also great options for people new to using sex toys during sex.
Bullet vibrators are usually lower-cost, and their size and shape make them less intrusive. Plus, if your partner worries about “competition,” there is nothing to worry about.
These lightweight, handheld toys are great to incorporate into sex with a partner because they are probably the least intrusive toy you can find.
The most popular way people use bullet vibrators during sex is to rest them against the clitoris during intercourse.
Because they are so small, they will work in almost any position, especially if you don’t mind holding them in place.
Some bullet vibrators like the Lovense Ambi can rest in place along the vulva, making them a hands-free option. Different-shaped toys can fit the body in different ways.
Bullet vibrators are not limited to the clitoris though. These make fun foreplay toys as they can be rubbed all over the body.
How to Use a Wand Vibrator During Sex
Wand vibrators, also known as wand massagers, are usually large, high-powered vibrators that give off a rumbly vibration.
If you are familiar with any vibrator, it’s probably the wand vibrator, as wands like the Hitachi Magic Wand have been bestsellers for decades.
With their larger size, wand massagers can be more intrusive to bring into the bedroom than smaller toys, but their powerful vibrations are so worth it.
Depending on your position, you can use the wand vibrator against your clit as your partner penetrates you from another angle.
Wand massagers are not just for the clit though. They also feel great along the perineum, against the shaft of the penis, and the rest of the body as foreplay.
Wand massagers can also get pretty loud, so if your partner is already concerned about being too noisy, you may want to play music or turn on a movie to drown out the buzz.
Because of their powerful vibrations, many wand massagers must be plugged into a wall socket. However, you can find battery-powered ones like the Lovense Domi.
How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator During Sex
Rabbit vibrators are dual-stimulation toys that send sensations to the g-spot and the clit at the same time.
You can insert the rabbit into the vagina as your partner enters you anally. Or, your partner can hold the rabbit against your clit for a more powerful sensation on the clit.
Rabbits are penetrative toys, but they are multi-use and are a great in-between if you are looking for powerful vibrations at a smaller size.
As a foreplay option, your partner can use the rabbit on you as they watch you react to its lovely vibrations and penetrations.
A rabbit toy like the Lovense Nora has a swiveling head that will rotate inside you to reach every part of the vagina. This feels especially great on the g-spot.
But with rabbit toys, you can also do the giving. Many rabbit vibrators can be connected to strap systems if you are playing with a strap.
How to Use a Suction Vibrator During Sex
Suction vibrators, also known as clit-sucking toys, are amazing for adding wonderful sensations to the clitoris during sex.
Suction vibrators are unlike most vibrators, as they usually use a different motor system. Rather than buzzy or rumbly vibrations, the sensations are more like sucking or licking.
Suction toys are especially great for foreplay because of the many intensity levels they’re built with. You can really ease into things with your partner.
Smaller suction toys, like the We-Vibe Melt, will not be too bulky and can be held easily in one hand.
Hopefully, your partner has helped you get wet and ready, but you can always use extra lube when using a suction vibrator.
These toys function much better when used with lube.
Also Read: How To Use a Clit Sucking Toy
How to Use a G-spot Vibrator During Sex
G-spot vibrators are designed to press against the g-spot inside the vagina. While this might take up a lot of space, some are quite streamlined and compact.
In fact, g-spot vibrators like the We-Vibe Sync and We-Vibe Chorus are actually designed to be used during penetrative sex.
These toys rest gently inside the vagina with an outer tail that hooks up towards the clit to stay in place.
Some g-spot vibrators, like the Lovense Dolce, have a dual motor system that will send powerful vibrations to both the g-spot and the clit.
The inner portion of the toy vibrates against the g-spot but is thin enough that your partner can still enter you from almost any position.
See my full review of the the lovense dolce by clicking here
How to Use a Vibrating Butt Plug During Sex
Vibrating butt plugs are amazing toys that are probably as discreet as it gets. Many people wear their plugs for hours as they go about their day!
The great thing about vibrating butt plugs is that they are gender-neutral. With these toys, you and your partner can enjoy the pleasures of anal stimulation during sex.
Vibrating butt plugs will add a feeling of fullness to the body, so when combined with penetration, these toys will provide you with incredible orgasms.
Butt plugs can also add a lot of fun during foreplay. And the important thing to remember is that foreplay does not have to start in the bedroom.
With a toy like the Lovense Hush 2, one partner can enjoy the toy while the other controls it from afar using a Bluetooth remote.
Because these toys are wearable, you can take this foreplay (almost) anywhere: around the house, out to a park, or seated for your romantic dinner.
Just be sure not to have too much fun during public play, as you don’t want to get kicked out of your date location.
Best Positions for Using Vibrators
Spooning
You probably naturally spoon with your partner all the time but spooning as a sex position is a great option if you want to free up space for a vibrator.
Lying parallel on your sides, there is space for your partner to reach around and hold the vibrator against you.
You can also hold it there yourself. Like the We-Vibe Touch, a clitoral vibrator with a wide, flat face can be great.
Doggy Style
Doggy Style is a great position for almost any toy: bullet vibrators, wand massagers, butt plugs, and more.
In Doggy Style, your partner should be able to reach down from behind you and hold a toy against you. If you can spare a hand, you should have plenty of space to do so yourself.
Doggy style can feel intense for many people, so toys with penetrative features may not be the best option for this position. Try it out and be ready to slow down or stop if it’s too much.
You might think of Doggy as being on your hands and knees, but you can also use furniture like a wardrobe to lean against as you do a half-standing Doggy Style position.
The Lazy Dog
If Doggy or standing up sounds like too much effort, you can also try the Lazy Dog.
Sometimes also nicknamed the “prone bone,” in this position, both of you lie mostly prone on your stomachs.
Your partner rests against your back and can enter you from behind as you lie facedown on the bed (or whatever location you have chosen).
With a little bit of squeezing, you should be able to reach your hand under you during Lazy Dog to access the front of your vulva and the clitoris.
A small toy like a bullet vibrator should do the trick. If you rest a vibrator on the bed, you can lie against it as your partner enters you.
This type of position also works best with a sex pillow. Though not a vibrator, the sex pillow is a worthy sex toy worth exploring.
Most stores that sell sex toys will also offer a variety of pillows.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl is the basic position when the woman is “on top.” You can ride your partner and control the pace and intensity of penetration. Plus, they get a pretty good view.
Cowgirl frees up your arms, allowing you or your partner to easily reach the clitoris with a vibrator.
Depending on your space, you could use a wand vibrator during Cowgirl or a smaller toy like a bullet or rabbit vibrator.
Positions like Cowgirl also feel amazing when your partner is wearing a toy like a vibrating cock ring. That way, both of you get to enjoy the sensations at the same time.
Reverse Cowgirl
Like Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl is another riding position, but instead of facing your partner, you face away.
In Reverse Cowgirl, your lucky partner gets a view of your butt as you continue to control the pace of things.
Reverse Cowgirl leaves a lot of space around the vulva for a vibrator to fit in.
Your partner should still be able to reach around to use the toy on you, or you can reach down for yourself.
This would be a great opportunity to incorporate the wand massager, as there is plenty more space in front of you when you are facing away from your partner.
Oral Sex
Sex does not just have to be about penetration. Many vibrators will take oral sex to the next level for either partner.
During cunnilingus, a toy like a vibrator or clit sucking vibrator can add variety to the vulva as your partner licks and toys with the rest of you.
For a blowjob, a touch of vibration from a bullet vibrator or wand massager can kick things up a notch. If you’re getting impatient, they also might speed up the process quite a bit.
Vibrating butt plugs should also be compatible with any type of oral sex. You can leave the butt plug in as you pleasure your partner.
Plus, your plug can give you some stimulation at the same time.
Parallel Play
Parallel play or mutual masturbation is when you and your partner lie (or sit) side by side and enjoy each other’s company as you masturbate.
Parallel play can become much more exciting when sex toys like vibrators come into the picture. And the great thing is, you and your partner can use any toy you prefer to get off.
If you two have trouble agreeing, this can be an ideal compromise.
If you get performance anxiety, you two don’t have to look or watch each other while you pleasure yourselves. You can even face back-to-back if that eases the tension.
It is each person’s choice regarding which vibrator to use during parallel play sex. Your partner might prefer the wand; you might prefer the clit suction vibrator.
Or, you both might want to enjoy two toys at once. Depending on your collection, the options are endless.
How to Ask Your Boyfriend if We Can Use a Vibrator During Sex
So you feel convinced about bringing a vibrator into the bedroom. But if this is a new area for you, how do you ask your boyfriend to use a vibrator during sex?
As with anything sensitive, finding the right time to bring up the topic of vibrators will help the conversation along.
You probably don’t want to approach the topic when your boyfriend is tired, stressed, distracted, or otherwise not in a conversational mood.
It can be helpful to talk about sexual things when you are already in a sexual atmosphere. Warm up your boyfriend with a sensual massage, or bring up the topic when you’re already cuddling.
You want to open the conversation, so your boyfriend feels welcome to ask questions and say no. If he feels pressured into this decision, that won’t be fun for anyone.
It might be good to suggest a test run. Smaller toys like bullet vibrators tend to come at a lower cost, so you can try them out with a low-risk purchase before investing in something costlier.
You could suggest a few sessions with a smaller toy to see how things feel before getting into more sex toys.
Once you get the go-ahead, offer to look into toys as a couple. Deciding on the ideal toy for the two of you can be a fun activity, ensuring that both of you will get what you want.
Consider his needs: is he interested in a vibrating cock ring? You might be surprised how much you learn about each other after opening this conversation.
The next step is: Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Communicating is key to both partners feeling joyful about this decision. Talk about how you’d like to use the toy before you start.
During sex, communication can be verbal but also non-verbal. Use cues like moving your hand or pushing the sex toy to a different location to indicate what is working and not working.
After sex, you also want to check in about how things felt for both of you, what felt great, and want you might want to try differently next time.
Aftercare is a term used for a lot of kink play like BDSM, but it is apt for any session where things feel new and potentially uncomfortable.
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