Last Updated on May 1, 2024 by Kelly
If you don’t know a thing about dildos, you’re in the right place. Please don’t feel embarrassed if you don’t know how to use dildos.
Maybe you just turned 18, or perhaps you haven’t experimented in your sex life until now.
Everyone has to start somewhere. Dildos can make solo play or play with your partner much more exciting.
This article will be a guide to choosing a dildo, what to look for and avoid, and how to use one.
Contents
What Type of Dildo Should I Use?
Think of dildos like fruit. They come in different shapes and sizes, and their stimulation can be a unique flavor.
And just like fruit, there are too many to list, but I’ll give the basics.
- Realistic Dildo. These dildos have lifelike skin. They usually come in different human skin tones. They may include realistic veins, texture on the balls, etc.
- Vibrator. These dildos vibrate at different speeds and patterns, usually controlled through a button or remote. Some are waterproof, allowing you to use them in the shower.
- Suction Cup Base Dildo. These dildos have a flat suction cup base. You can stick it on the wall, floor, tub, or on a harness that has support. Learn about using a suction cup dildo here.
- Ejaculating Dildo. Just like a natural penis, this dildo can squirt on you. Most people like to use fake semen lube to make it feel like someone is cumming on you. Of course, you can use other liquids.
- Male Dildos. These dildos are shaped to stimulate a man’s (or someone assigned male at birth) prostate. Prostate stimulation can give you immense pleasure. Read my top 7 dildos suitable for men here.
- Double-Ended Dildo. These dildos are long and have two shafted ends. Double-ended dildos are great for two people to share, or you can bend them and satisfy both holes. Learn more about using double-ended dildos here
- Smart Dildos. These dildos use Bluetooth and a smartphone app. An app allows for more customizable vibration, such as vibrating to an MP3 file. Plus, you can give the dildo software updates to improve user experience. The future is now!
Again, there are many other types than these listed. This list can give you a starter pack of dildos to consider.
Whichever you choose, it’s vital to buy your dildo from a reputable retailer. You can visit your local sex shop or go to a trusted online retailer such as Lovehoney.
Besides that, you should also read the reviews of the dildo you’re considering. This way, you can have an idea of both the positive and negative of these toys.
Finally, be sure to buy a dildo within your budget.
How To Use a Dildo For The First Time
Now that you have your dildo, how do you use it? It should be obvious: stick the dildo inside, right? But if you aren’t prepared, you may experience pain, not pleasure.
You should never feel this. Here’s how you can make your first time great.
1. Make Sure You’re Relaxed and Begin With Foreplay
If you feel nervous, your body is going to stiffen. This can lead to difficulties inserting the dildo.
Take some deep breaths and relax. Maybe play some nice relaxing music.
Get into a comfortable place. Dim the lights. You know, set the mood. Get yourself relaxed, and have some foreplay.
Foreplay can come in the form of your partner eating you out or fingering yourself. If you’re inserting the dildo into your pussy, foreplay makes you wet.
Thus, it is easier to insert.
2. Use Lots of Lube
Even though your vagina has its own lubrication, a bit of extra lube wouldn’t hurt. There are several types of lube you can use.
Water is the most versatile, as it won’t damage your toy. Silicone lube doesn’t need to be reapplied often, but you must be wary of using it on silicone toys.
A hybrid lube gives you the best of both worlds.
There are other lubes as well. Whichever you choose, spread it around the head and shaft of your dildo.
3. Start Slowly
It’s not a race. Put the dildo inside you slowly. Let your body adjust to how the toy feels, as it’s different from a real person.
Plus, going slow will let you know if you need some preparation. If you insert it too fast, you may experience pain.
4. Build a Rhythm
Having a rhythm is vital to enjoying your dildo. Slow and controlled at first.
Then, when you feel like you’re ready, speed it up. A consistent in and out can help you reach orgasm much faster.
5. Explore with Depth and Angles
Once you feel more confident, now is the time to experiment. You can take the dildo deeper inside of you.
Perhaps you can purchase a longer dildo. You can also try angling the dildo in different ways.
However, the same rules above apply. Start slow, and listen to your body. If your body is telling you that something hurts, take it out.
6. Explore Thrusting Techniques
Besides speeds, how you insert the dildo inside of you can be different. You may want to angle your body differently, change the tempo, etc.
Now that you’re familiar, it’s time to begin the era of exploration!
How to Clean the Dildo After Use
Once you’re done with the dildo, now what? Some people may put the dildo back wherever it was. But don’t do this! It’s unsanitary. Here’s how to clean the dildo.
First, we’re assuming that you have a silicone, glass, or another non-porous dildo. If so, all you need to do to clean the dildo is wipe it down with mild soap and water.
Let it air dry, then put it in a safe carrying bag. Some dildos will come with one. But if not, look for a silk carrying bag.
Then, store the dildo in a cool, dry place.
You can also buy antibacterial toy cleaners at sex shops. You can apply the cleaner to the toy and let it dry out.
If you have a porous dildo, you should probably use a condom before inserting it inside. You may need to give it a deeper cleaning if you haven’t. You may consider boiling the toy, for example.
You can also pop dildos inside the dishwasher, provided they are waterproof. If you’re going to be washing your dishes anyway, and no one’s home, why not?
How to Insert a Dildo
To insert a dildo, start slowly. Use a bit of lube, and consider preparing yourself through foreplay.
Keep your hand on the base of the dildo to control it as it goes in and out of you.
How to Masturbate with a Dildo
Start slowly, and then go faster. You can also experiment with different speeds and angles.
Everyone is different, and the key is to find the right rhythm for your body.
How to Use a Dildo with a Partner
Foreplay, lubricant, and going slow are all key components of preparing to use a dildo with a partner.
However, communication is critical with a partner. Have a safe word, or have your partner tell you if something is wrong. If there is, stop what you’re doing.
Partner play can also open the doors to more kinky activities. For example, you can be handcuffed to the bed, and your partner uses the dildo on you.
Again, this is where communication comes in. If you experience any discomfort, say your safe word.
Be Safe When Using Your Dildo
Dildos aren’t the most dangerous thing in the world, but they do carry risks. You may experience pain if you misuse one.
Or, you may get an STD/STI from a dirty dildo. Here are some essential tips.
1. Keep it Clean
After every use, be sure to clean off the dildo with soap and water or an antibacterial cleaner. If you plan on sharing the dildo, be sure to clean it after each use.
Alternatively, you can put a condom on the dildo. Also, be sure to use non-porous dildos.
Silicone, glass, and metal, these all won’t absorb bacteria.
2. Store it Properly
Once your dildo is cleaned and dried, be sure to store it properly. You can do so by putting the dildo in a silk bag and then putting it in a cool, dry place.
3. Listen to Your Body
Your first time shouldn’t be painful. That’s a myth. Prepare yourself, and if something hurts, take it out. You should not feel pain, only pleasure.
4. Is it Waterproof?
If you have a vibrating dildo, look at its waterproof rating before you use it in the bath or shower.
A waterproof dildo means that it’s safe to use. But if it’s not waterproof, you may end up shocking yourself or ruining the dildo.
LOL (Lots of Lube)
Your dildo should be under-lubed rather than over-lubed, especially if it’s your first time.
Adding lube to your dildo ensures that you get inside without any pain.
If the dildo is made from a stiffer material, like glass, use more lube.
Which Material is the Best for First-Time Dildo Users?
When you browse any sex shop, you’ll see dildos made from many types of materials. To answer this question, let’s look at the main types you’ll find.
1. Silicone
Body-safe silicone is the most popular type of material. It’s rubbery and stretchy, and it can feel like natural skin.
Another reason why it’s popular is because silicone is hypoallergenic. In other words, you don’t need to worry about triggering an allergic reaction.
Silicone is also non-porous. Non-porous materials don’t absorb bacteria.
All you need to clean silicone is to wipe it down with mild soap and water. If you’re a first-time user, silicone can be a great first choice.
2. Glass/Metal/Stone
Glass dildos are made from, you guessed it, glass. Some readers may be skeptical about using glass dildos as they worry about them breaking inside their bodies.
The glass used in these dildos is super durable. As long as you don’t see any cracks, the dildo should be good to use.
Glass dildos are rigid, but they can be heated or cooled. This fact means that you can enjoy temperature play!
Overall, glass can be great for a beginner.
This paragraph also applies to dildos made from metal or stone. Stone dildos are heavy and require a lot of lubricant, while most harder dildos will need a little more lube.
3. Jelly/Rubber/PVC and Vinyl
Now, let’s look at toys that may not be good for a first-timer or even an experienced person. These materials have many problems with them.
First, jelly and PVC/vinyl contain phthalates. Phthalates make plastics more durable but are not the best for your body.
They may cause hormonal changes and have been linked to early death!
Make sure that each sex toy you buy is labeled as phthalate-free.
Another reason these materials are problematic is allergies. Rubber can lead to an allergic reaction for those with a latex allergy.
Not only that, but rubber toys tend to have a funny smell!
But the biggest problem of all is that all these toys are porous. When bacteria get inside of them, they can be challenging to clean.
Because of this, you should use a condom on the toy before inserting it inside of you. Or, better yet, avoid.
Overall, silicone may be the best choice for first-timers. It’s flexible, easy to clean, and body-safe.
Glass is a good runner-up.
What to Consider When Choosing the Size of a Dildo to Use?
Bigger is not always better. Your vagina may not be able to take a long or girthy dildo. With a longer one, you can avoid sticking it all the way inside of you.
However, if it’s too girthy, you may have difficulties putting it in without lots of lube. Even with a lot of lube, it may feel uncomfortable.
Because of these facts, we recommend you choose an average-sized dildo. The average length of a dildo is 4-6 inches, and the circumference is 4-5 inches.
You can go up or down if you feel like it’s too big or thick, or vice versa.
As you become more experienced, you may want to buy thicker dildos. When you use an oversized dildo, be sure to practice with a smaller one first!
Also Read: Best Sex Toys For Virgins & Beginners